Bailey's First Birthday

A year ago today a puppy was born. Just like all puppies born that day, God gave him the task for his life before he was sent to Earth. Some of the puppies born on that day were to go on to spend time in the show ring, or competing in dog sports. Some would have the task of working the fields or hunting with their owners. Still others would grow to perform the noble tasks of searching for missing people, or assisting the disabled.

For this particular puppy, his task wasn't so noble, and it would not earn him titles or ribbons. His task was to try to put together the shattered pieces of my heart left behind by the loss of Indy.

I will never forget the first time I saw Bailey. The way he tottered over to me like he already knew he was born to be mine. We were at a Christmas party. My husband and I went into a room where nobody else was. We sat on the floor and got acquainted with our new pup. We sat a few feet from each other and watched as Bailey ran between us in the clumsy way puppies do. His feet not quite able to move at the pace his brain wanted. I felt my heart grow warm in my chest and I laughed. My husband said that was the first time he had heard me laugh in weeks. I had been in such a fog of depression that I hadn't even noticed that I hadn't laughed or smiled in a while. From our very first moments together, he started working on the task that God had given him.

He was so tiny. His tail looked like a shoelace as he wagged it. We cut the top part off of a sock and made him a little sweater to wear. He spent the rest of the party sleeping close to my heart, under my shirt.

As darling as he was, I had some mixed feelings. It was so soon after Indy's death, I was reluctant to let myself love him. The thought of giving my heart to him, only to have him taken away and have my heart broken all over again was more than I could bare. Yet, my heart was already held captive by his antics, if I wanted to admit it or not.

Bailey was the best medicine that anyone could have prescribed. There were days I didn't want to get out of bed, and face the day and my memories. But I had to, I had a puppy to take care of.

With each passing day, week and month, he slowly took the pieces of my shattered heart and put them back together. Of course, there are a few pieces that were shattered so badly, even Bailey couldn't repair them. There will always be a small, empty hole left behind by Indy. At the same time Bailey made my heart grow with love. So, even though there is an empty part, my heart is bigger and more full than before.

He grew so fast. Too fast, as all puppies do. He seemed to transform from an awkward puppy to a handsome, confident dog before my eyes. I treasure every memory and milestone as he experienced all his firsts. His first time in the snow, his first time at the lake, his first time playing in the autumn leaves....

Happy 1st birthday Bailey!

Your year of firsts is over now, and you are ready to embark on the rest of your life. I can only pray that it is a long, happy life filled with as much joy as you bring me.

Here are pictures of Bailey's first year:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/doxiehuahua/album?.dir=/b3e7&.src=ph&.tok=phK8SnCBQlAUXweJ