A New Year Begins

This past weekend I turned 40. 40 sounds so old, but I don't see old when I look at myself. I still feel 25. I wonder if anyone ever sees themselves as old as they are, or if age is as old as we envision it. I suppose I am old in some aspects. I seem to have more aches and pains, and get tired sooner, but that could be just as much a result of my lack of physical fitness as age.

Back to my birthday....
My wonderful husband bought me a car for my birthday. A Camaro. Back when I first started driving 24 years ago, I wanted a Camaro. When I was younger, I couldn't afford one, as I got older, I had other things which were more important. It was one of those things I put off for when I was "older", perhaps retired. A sports car isn't as important when you are in your 30s as it is when you are in your teens. However, while I was waiting to get "older", or for it to be a priority, Chevrolet stopped making the camaro. It screams mid-life crisis, but it is really what I have wanted for nearly a 1/4 of a century. Yet something I probably would never have bought myself.

On Saturday we went to my inlaws' house for cake. I enjoyed myself there. It wasn't the birthday blow out bash that Joe had talked about for years. It was a low key family gathering, and honestly much more to my liking than a big bash. More important than the party itself, is my relationship with my mother-in-law. The fact that I have one. I always envied people who would talk about what a great relationship they had with their inlaws, how it was like having a second Mom and Dad. I supposed I have thought of my FIL as a Dad-like person in my life for a while. He is a big teddy bear sort of guy. Rough and tough on the outside but soft as a marshmallow on the inside. He is about the same age as my own Dad.

It hasn't been that way with my MIL. To start with, she is only 9 years older than me. We are closer in age than my husband and I are. It just isn't natural to see a woman young enough to be your sister or a friend as a mother figure. I don't think that is the reason we never had a good relationship, it is just another factor. A factor from my side of it. I don't know what the factors were on her side. All I know is that we didn't get along. For example, a few years ago my FIL went in the hospital and nobody called to tell us. A friend of hers IMed me to tell me long after the fact, and called me a bitch and such because that is what she heard from my MIL. So, to make a long story short, to say we didn't have a good relationship is probably an understatement, but I will leave it at that.

Things have changed this past year though. I don't really know what brought on the change. At first I was thinking it was all the drama surrounding Jim's wedding. We found a somewhat common bound there, but after some thought, I don't think it was the driving force. I think it may have helped to cement our relationship, but I don't think it is the root. However, I don't know what the root cause is. Things seemed to start to change during the holidays last year, and seemed to get better after Jeanette got pregnant. I suppose the reason doesn't matter. For the first time in my 8 years with Joe I feel like his family is my family too. Maybe it is just an effect of time, because recently for the first time Joe has started referring to my niece and nephew as his niece and nephew, so it isn't just me.

I still can't say I think of my MIL as a second mother. I think we are just too close in age for that to happen. But I do think of her as a friend, and I think that is better. I already have a mother, but a person can never have too many friends.