Is blood thicker than money?

For the last 6 months or so, much of our family focus has been on the wedding of Joe's brother. Unfortunately, the focus has been more because of hurt feelings and selfish behavior than happiness.

Weddings are supposed to be about love, and a celebration of joining two families. However, in this case, it has been about two separate families. One gaining a "son" and one losing a son, brother and friend.

A few examples of things that have happened:
~For her shower she made demands about what some people had to bring, even though they were not giving the shower

~They threw a party, and only invited certain people, leaving out spouses. So much for setting a couple/family atmosphere!

~When the invitations were sent out, the grooms parents were not even mentioned. This added salt to the wounds, since he had a one time made up a story about his family being adopted and not really his own.

Some of the things were not wedding related, but just an example of how his family means nothing to the couple. His sister is expecting her first baby, and the bride couldn't be bothered to attend one of the two showers thrown, even though the mom-to-be took time off from work to attend her bridal shower.

And most recently, after offering their home for my 40th birthday, they decided to attend a pig roast her family is having instead

Joe was supposed to be in the wedding. I had written off his brother several weeks ago, and his bride months ago. Joe was a hold out. He and his brother had always been close. Joe considered him his best friend, so it made sense that he would try to see the good in him. That all ended yesterday when his brother wouldn't even answer the door when Joe went to the house to pick him up for plans they had.

Jim, the brother, had always been big into family. It is hard to believe how much he has changed, or why. I suppose it is rather complex, yet simple at the same time.

Jim has never had a strong personality. Although it is a big guy, he has always been a mouse of a man. Over time, perhaps blinded by the newness of wealth he has found with his "new" family, he has simply absorbed her personality. There was no blending of a couple, he just became the male version of her. Which is why there is no blending of families. He just became part of hers, and he sold his own up the river.

It is funny how money changes people. I am sure, that after growing up in a middle class family where things weren't always handed over, and at times you have to go without, new found wealth is much like a kid in a candy store. Since becoming one of them, he has had things just handed over for the first time in his life. When they needed new appliances, they were bought for them. When he had medical bills he couldn't pay himself, they were paid for him. When he wasn't happy with a stag party or rehearshal dinner, they forked over money to make it bigger and more lavish.

Perhaps some day he will learn that there are some things that are more important than money. Family being one of the more important things. It was something I thought he already knew. If he ever remembers, I think it will be too late because many bridges are being burned along the way as he is blinded by dollar signs.